Sunday, August 24, 2008

bookends

um, not my mother but she did give birth at North Shore Hospital
No Cedar-Sinai? Shocking right?

last week or so have felt like i've been coaxing the last teaspoon of honey out its plastic container. while i've learned that the best of what you can give can not be forced forward, i am, i have grown a bit impatient in my age. i'd like to scribble that out and say how much there is to be done, and how much I've learned while the things you can't push out are baking in the oven but i'd rather burn the roof of my mouth than wait to ingest things properly. I am still a petulant child.
This week a few people have asked me what I think about this lawyer, the mistro. I am in no rush to press fast forward and record a person's character, history with a half drawn picture in my notes. I don't know. I don't know and I suppose that's why I should ask him to help me fill out the features.
As for features, Tuesday is my birthday and if my mother is still here it is our day of remembrance. What she remembers, or thinks of this day I don't know. I don't even have a sketch of her. On Tuesday I will excavate every posting board ISO. I have no expectations beyond expecting that they will never be read by her eyes. What are the things that you do every day? Brush your teeth, wash your face, drink water, pee, talk, walk, read, think? So on the day that you brush your teeth, wash your fash, drink water, pee, talk, give birth to a child, talk, walk, read, think does every other year then begin with the thinking of giving birth to a child? Like the way we celebrate birthdays?
I could have fallen from the sky but according to 1978 testimony, I was born in Long Island. Everything else feels a little out of reach. This information is not suitable for adopted children. I would surely shove all the pieces in my mouth.

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